I have something that has been on my mind for quite some time.
I will confess to all you readers out there. "I DON'T PRAY IN PUBLIC OR OUT LOUD." Why you ask? I don't know. Let me take you back a few weeks ago. I was at a friends house, we were about to begin a video/bible study. She looked at me and asked if I would like to open us up in prayer. I gasped!!! I embarrassingly told her I wasn't comfortable and usually make it clear to small group leaders at the very beginning that I don't pray out loud. I was so embarrassed, but she kindly said she would say a prayer. "Go for it," I told her.
I hate that I cant pray. I do pray, don't get me wrong but not like others. It's a very private thing to me. As I pray I talk to him as a friend rambling on and on. I think he might be saying to himself, "come on Ona...spit it out." For this reason, I won't any time soon. Is this bad? Is there tricks to praying??? Am I just being a big wimp?
So....fast forward a bit. The video was over and we discussed it a bit and then boom, she asked if I had any prayer requests. My sweet friend listened to my requests then a few seconds of silence that seemed like forever. "Oh, if you have any special prayer requests I can pray for you at my own house," I stupidly said to her. Goodness...I sounded like such a dummy!
She closed in prayer and sounded like a true angel. How in the heck do people make it sound so easy and let it flow out so graciously?
Seriously, I want to hear what your intake of this is and what you suggest.
P.S. You know who you are and are probably laughing out loud right now:) Thanks for not making a big deal about it or making me feel dumb.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Private or Public
Posted by Ona at 7:07 PM
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13 comments:
It is SO funny to me that your post was on praying out loud or in public today, because I was totally thinking the same thing this evening! You are NOT the only one! My family was at our house for dinner and my husband, who usually says grace asked me to do so tonight. I said no! I do not like praying with other people hearing me. I'm weird about it too. I figure the One and only that needs to hear my prayers will hear me through my silence. I feel like a blithering idiot when I try to pray and have others hear me. I don't like to do it - it makes me greatly uncomfortable. What I really worry about is my ability to affectively teach my child to pray if I can't even do it out loud.
Ona, Ona, Ona...Yes, I'm laughing out loud right now. You silly girl, I can't believe you thought I would think you were dumb! Please don't be embarassed. It really is hard to get past worrying about what others are thinking about us when we pray. But the truth is, we need to be more concerned with what God thinks about us, then what people think...in every area of our lives.
When we pray, we are not talking to each other, nor to impress each other with our impressive vocabulary or eloquent speaking skills. We are talking to one person: God! When I asked how I could pray for you, I meant it! I truly care about you. And I know that nothing is impossible with God. He is the only one who can meet your needs, no matter how big or small.
One of my favorite verses is James 5:16 - "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
When we pray, it's effective, it does something, our God, the Creator of the Universe, listens, and He moves. I am not going to miss the chance for God to do something great in someone's life because I was too worried about what people thought of me.
On the other hand, Jesus warned in Matthew 6, not to be like the hypocrates who prayed in public with their big words to impress others. Jesus said, "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
And there are many examples in the gospels of Jesus going off by Himself to a "solitary place" to pray. So, I say, if you're not comfortable praying in front of others, don't. But don't stop praying in your own quiet time. Because, remember, your prayer is powerful and effective!
Ok, I'm really embarassed with how long that was. I really didn't mean to type that much. I'm SOOO sorry!
Liz's input was well put. I used to be a lot like you Ona. At some point you just jump in and hold your breath, knowing that your God cares about even this! He will guide you. The number one thing... is to KEEP IT REAL. Be yourself with God and be who you are with Him when noone is there.
There are many thoughts about "what" to pray... but I think the bottom line is to love the Lord your God with ALL- even in your heartfelt prayers private and public.
One more thought... begin in a safe place. Maybe you could meet with Liz or someone who you feel emotionally safe with and just the two of you pray together, so that you begin to feel it.
sorry... another novel long response. :-)
You are not alone. Prayer is intimate. Prayer is personal. Prayer is huge in the foundation of our relationship to God.
So the fact that you are nervous isn't surprising. Praying in public means putting something close to your heart out on the line-and that is tough to do.
Rest assured that if you do decide to pray in public that no one is waiting to judge your words. And if they are....then they aren't really praying themselves!
Take your time, and if it's something that you really want to work on, start small with just one trusted person. If it's not time to work on it, it's okay too. Not praying in public isn't a sin!
I don't pray in public either. Well, expect in church but that with everyone else praying a loud too and I do it by rote rarely thinking about it.
I actually pray all the time, but never publically. In fact I usually don't discuss my faith with others.
God gives everyone different gifts. This one is not mine. If you are feeling a calling or it's something you want to work on, I would follow the suggestions given to you by these wonderful friends you have.
Liz,
I'm digging Matt 6 :) Your comment brings me to another subject. How in the heck do you know what references to quote. Holy moly!!! I'm lacking a lot of biblical skills, huh???
Tiffany,
I try to teach Jasmynn to pray through her little devotional book. I read a story every night and luckily there's a prayer and the end of each devotional that we can say together.
Ona, Nothing but love for you! Love Liz's wisdom on this. The only thing that concerns me in the lest is that you might be feeling guilt about not "mesuring up" to other Christians. God made you perfect in His eyes and delights in you just as you are, right where you are.
To me you are a valued and trusted friend that brings me joy each time we meet.
We all have areas that we'd like to work on and I admire that you are willing to blog about yours. Very brave. You're awesome.
I love what Becca wrote. Ditto, ditto and ditto!
You are awesome for just blogging about this.
I don't have anything more to add.
Loved what Liz wrote!
Love you girl!
It's your mind, your thoughts, your prayer, you don't have to share them if you don't want to.
You are way too funny.
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